the 2nd installment of my book review compilation is finally here! this would've come wayyyyy sooner but 1) the couple of reviews i'd already written up were lost when my phone got bricked and that really pissed me off so i kept putting off rewriting them 2) i was too busy with life stuff to actually write or even read anything anyways and 3) i was trying to put off reading for a little while until we moved since we'd be way closer to the library and i could actually start going there but that's probably not happening for another couple months soooo. anyways! i'm also trying out a new, cleaner format this time around so they're a little bit easier to read, with less spoilers (and hopefully less typos too 🫣).
EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM WILL SOMEDAY BE DEAD ー EMILY AUSTIN
4.5/5
synopsis
Gilda, a twenty-something, atheist, animal-loving lesbian, cannot stop ruminating about death. Desperate for relief from her panicky mind and alienated from her repressive family, she responds to a flyer for free therapy at a local Catholic church, and finds herself being greeted by Father Jeff, who assumes she’s there for a job interview. Too embarrassed to correct him, Gilda is abruptly hired to replace the recently deceased receptionist Grace.
In between trying to memorize the lines to Catholic mass, hiding the fact that she has a new girlfriend, and erecting a dirty dish tower in her crumbling apartment, Gilda strikes up an email correspondence with Grace’s old friend. She can’t bear to ignore the kindly old woman who has been trying to reach her friend through the church inbox, but she also can’t bring herself to break the bad news. Desperate, she begins impersonating Grace via email. But when the police discover suspicious circumstances surrounding Grace’s death, Gilda may have to finally reveal the truth of her mortifying existence.
spoiler-free review
so, i actually almost didn't pick up this book because the synopsis didn't really capture my attention, and then i almost didn't even bother reading it at all but one day i got super bored and said "eh, it's not that long so let's just get through it" and i ended up LOVING it. this book was so hard for me to put down; i really liked the writing style which made it very easy for me to get into, glinda (mc) was super relatable, and the humor was right up my alley.
my one criticism would be that i wished we had gotten closure on a couple of things, but but this is mostly a nitpick because i actually did like the kind of open ending anyways and the last line of the book made me smile. really just an overall great book, and just like with last night at the telegraph club, this instantly became one of my favorites and made me immediately go to add the author's other books to my tbr.
full review
so, i actually almost didn't pick up this book because the synopsis didn't really capture my attention, and then i almost didn't even bother reading it at all but one day i got super bored and said "eh, it's not that long so let's just get through it" and i ended up LOVING it. this book was so hard for me to put down, i really liked the writing style made it very easy for me to get into; glinda (mc) was very relatable to me -- from her struggle with anxiety and depression to the way she reacted in certain situations (when she was sneaking around the priest's room/office and the whole mess she got herself into by pretending to be straight) -- was almost like reading about myself in a way; and the humor was right up my alley.
my one criticism would be that i wished we had gotten closure on glinda's family situation (particularly her brother) and the church, but this is mostly a nitpick because i actually did like the kind of open ending anyways and the last line of the book made me smile. really just an overall great book, and just like with last night at the telegraph club, this instantly became one of my favorites and made me immediately go to add the author's other books to my tbr.
THIS IS HOW YOU LOSE THE TIME WAR ー AMAL EL-MOHTAR AND MAX GLADSTONE
2.5/5
synopsis
Among the ashes of a dying world, an agent of the Commandant finds a letter. It reads:Burn before reading. Thus begins an unlikely correspondence between two rival agents hellbent on securing the best possible future for their warring factions. Now, what began as a taunt, a battlefield boast, grows into something more. Something epic. Something romantic. Something that could change the past and the future.
Except the discovery of their bond would mean death for each of them. There's still a war going on, after all. And someone has to win that war.
spoiler-free review
this was just so confusing and left me with so many questions; literally nothing is explained. this is only a novella but it took me forever (about 3 weeks) to read because it felt like a chore to pick it up again, not only because of non-existent worldbuilding, but also because the writing style which is very... how should i put it? "me trying to hit the word count on my essay". the letters, which should've helped with characterization, did not help at all; i was very confused by the constant changes in tone of the letters and the way the writing of them would seem like they were trying to mirror each other, like when you're talking to someone you don't know on the internet and notice they're writing a certain way so you try to kind of mimick them as to not accidentally overstep boundaries. the story starts to pick up and finally gets interesting on the very last part of it and we actually get some description of the settings that isn't just "it's london but grayish", "snowy place but actually the snow is blue".
tbh i can't even really tell if i actually properly read this, because while looking at other reviews i noticed some marked trigger warnings and i was like "huh? when did these happen?", so maybe it all just went through one ear and out the other (for lack of a better metaphor).
full review
this was just so confusing and left me with so many questions. how the hell do they even "climb" (or "swim"?? pick one.) the threads? why the fuck is this war even happening in the first place? literally nothing is explained. this is only a novella but it took me forever (about 3 weeks) to read because it felt like a chore to pick it up again, not only because of non-existent worldbuilding, but also because the writing style which is very... how should i put it? "me trying to reach the word count on my essay". the letters, which should've helped with characterization, did not help at all; i was very confused by the constant changes in tone of the letters because some would be like "sis you're over" and the next one would be "your resistance is futile - as my side shall rise victorious" and then some would even have some combination like "unlike you, i am sagacious enough to keep eye on such matters, dawg", and the letters would always mirror the last one, so if one letter was written more informal and slang-filled (i noticed particularly that red[? or maybe blue, literally doesn't matter because they're the same] would say "fuck", and then the reply would also have the word fuck in it), the reply would be too, so on and so forth. the story starts to pick up and finally gets interesting on the very last part of it and we actually get some description of the settings that isn't just "it's london but grayish", "snowy place but actually the snow is blue".
tbh i can't even really tell if i actually properly read this, because while looking at other reviews i noticed rape and pedophilia were marked trigger warnings and i was like "huh? when did that happen?", so maybe it all just went through one ear and out the other (for lack of a better metaphor).
ONE LAST STOP ー CASEY MCQUISTON
1/5
synopsis
For cynical twenty-three-year-old August, moving to New York City is supposed to prove her right: that things like magic and cinematic love stories don’t exist, and the only smart way to go through life is alone. She can’t imagine how waiting tables at a 24-hour pancake diner and moving in with too many weird roommates could possibly change that. And there’s certainly no chance of her subway commute being anything more than a daily trudge through boredom and electrical failures.
But then, there’s this gorgeous girl on the train.
Jane. Dazzling, charming, mysterious, impossible Jane. Jane with her rough edges and swoopy hair and soft smile, showing up in a leather jacket to save August’s day when she needed it most. August’s subway crush becomes the best part of her day, but pretty soon, she discovers there’s one big problem: Jane doesn’t just look like an old school punk rocker. She’s literally displaced in time from the 1970s, and August is going to have to use everything she tried to leave in her own past to help her. Maybe it’s time to start believing in some things, after all.
spoiler-free review
short answer: this book would've been wayyyy more interesting if it was just about jane; i really don't think that the whole time travel thing was needed at all.
long answer: my first gripe here is the weird comments made about jane by august: there's lots of throwaway lines that are taken straight from one of those sapphics (read: non lesbians, mostly) that you can tell have never flirted with a real life woman and say "omg step on me mommy" 100% unironically but is trying to dodge the fetishization accusations by saying shit like "you're like a MELODIUS GODDESS sent from HEAVEN, ugh just like SUPERNATURALLY ANGELIC" like please, just be normal; this is amplified by the fact that jane is butch and nobody can compliment butches in a sane manner for some reason. i was not feeling the chemistry between august and jane at all, even less so than other books i've given this criticism too! there is also -- trying to be as spoiler free as possible here -- an abuse subplot that i felt was handled in a poor way. all the side characters simply exist to serve our boring ass mc and worship the ground she walks on, which especially weirds me out seeing as all except a couple are non-white, and the pacing is really just all over the place; it's pretty slow overall so the author tries to play catch-up by speeding certain parts along and even just time-skipping weeks or even months and you're just like huh? this book was pretty much just friends with a dash of sci-fi for liberal millennial queers, all of which i am not.
full review
short answer: this book would've been wayyyy more interesting if it was just about jane; i really don't think that the whole time travel thing was needed at all.
long answer: my first gripe here is the weird comments made about jane by august: there's lots of throwaway lines that are taken straight from one of those sapphics (read: non lesbians, mostly) that you can tell have never flirted with a real life woman and say "omg step on me mommy" 100% unironically but is trying to dodge the fetishization accusations by saying shit like "you're like a MELODIUS GODDESS sent from HEAVEN, ugh just like SUPERNATURALLY ANGELIC" like please, just be normal; this is amplified by the fact that jane is butch and nobody can compliment butches in a sane manner for some reason. there's also the scene in which jane becomes the victim of a racial and lesbophobic hate crime, to which august, a white bisexual, is just like "...ok but people aren't like that anymore"; jane ends up apologizing first. i also just found there to be no chemistry between august and jane at all, jane had all these women from all over the country and i'm supposed to believe that fuckass august is the best one of all? and the public sex, really? what happened to CLASS?
in the august family subplot, august is initially angry about her mother preventing her from ever meeting her grandparents and mourns the relationship she could've had with them, and then is like oh, my grandparents were homophobic so actually, i didn't wanna meet them anyways! be so serious; i wanna draw comparison to another book, rubyfruit jungle -- which i fucking hated in damn near every way -- except the way the abuse by molly's (adoptive) mother is addressed: it acknowledges the fact that the abuse in question is horrible and it makes her mother a piece of shit that's unworthy of redemption - but it also acknowledges that her mother is the only one she's ever known, so of course she still loves her. i feel like not many really explore this? maybe i just don't get around much. and i'm also not saying that every piece of media should show it this way, i just find the way one last stop goes about it in a way that -- as twitter loves to say -- lacks nuance.
all the side characters simply exist to serve our boring ass mc -- omg the love interest is a ghost! good news: we have a psychic, we need a radio! good news: we have someone who works on clocks, we're putting on a drag show! well guess what: we have those too! -- and worship the ground she walks on, which especially weirds me out seeing as all except a couple are non-white. the pacing is just all over the place; it's pretty slow overall so the author tries to play catch-up by speeding certain parts along and even just time-skipping weeks or even months and you're just like huh? this book was pretty much just friends with a dash of scif-fi for liberal millennial queers, all of which i am not.
PATRICIA WANTS TO CUDDLE ー SAMANTHA ALLEN
4/5
synopsis
When the final four women in competition for an aloof, if somewhat sleazy, bachelor's heart arrive on a mysterious island in the Pacific Northwest, they mentally prepare themselves for another week of extreme sleep deprivation, invasive interviews, and of course, the salacious drama that viewers nationwide tune in to eagerly devour. Each woman came on 'The Catch' for her own reasons—brand sponsorships, followers, and yes, even love—and they've all got their eyes steadfastly trained on their respective prizes.
Enter Patricia, a temperamental, but woefully misunderstood local, living alone in the dark, verdant woods and desperate to forge a connection of her own. As the contestants perform for the cameras that surround them, Patricia watches from her place in the shadows, a queer specter haunting the bombastic display of heterosexuality before her. But when the cast and crew at last make her acquaintance atop the island's tallest and most desolate peak, they soon realize that if they're to have any hope of making it to the next Elimination Event, they'll first have to survive the night.
spoiler-free review
ummm i think i stumbled upon this on zlib? or maybe it was storygraph? whatever. it's not what i was expecting it to be, but in a good way -- i'm not usually a horror fan, but really had fun with this! the book is pretty slow paced, as we don't really get into the action until the last chunk of it; i liked reading the parts focused around the show, but i could understand how it might not be for everybody. none of the characters really get much depth but i don't think i really minded in this case? i personally was still invested in them and their relationships with each other regardless. but i will say that i wish our main girl had gotten a little more, there was really good potential but the author just never really bothered actually going there, and i also wanted to learn some more about the mysterious happenings on the island, so i think the book could've benefitted from beingjust a little bit longer. just a smidgen. overall this is just a really fun read, if you like trashy reality shows and/or slasher films i think you would like this! and even if you don't i say give it a shot anyways!
full review
ummm i think i stumbled upon this on zlib? or maybe it was storygraph? whatever. it's not what i was expecting it to be, but in a good way -- i'm not usually a horror fan, but i really had fun with this! the book is pretty slow paced, as we don't really get into the action until the last chunk of it; i liked reading the parts focused around the show, but i could understand how it might not be for everybody. none of the characters aside from casey really get much depth, but i don't think i really minded in this case? i personally was still invested in them and their relationships with each other regardless (lilah mae and vanessa were endgame in my heart #idk). but i will say that i wish renee had gotten a little more, there was really good potential but the author just never really bothered actually going there, and i also wanted to learn some more about the lesbian death cult!! so i think the book could've benefitted from beingjust a little bit longer. just a smidgen. overall this is just a really fun read, if you like trashy reality shows and/or slasher films i think you would like this! and even if you don't i say give it a shot anyways!
THEY NEVER LEARN ー LAYNE FARGO
3/5
synopsis
Scarlett Clark is an exceptional English professor. But she’s even better at getting away with murder.
Every year, she searches for the worst man at Gorman University and plots his well-deserved demise. Thanks to her meticulous planning, she’s avoided drawing attention to herself—but as she’s preparing for her biggest kill yet, the school starts probing into the growing body count on campus. Determined to keep her enemies close, Scarlett insinuates herself into the investigation and charms the woman in charge, Dr. Mina Pierce. Everything’s going according to her master plan…until she loses control with her latest victim, putting her secret life at risk of exposure.
Meanwhile, Gorman student Carly Schiller is just trying to survive her freshman year. Finally free of her emotionally abusive father, all Carly wants is to focus on her studies and fade into the background. Her new roommate has other ideas. Allison Hadley is cool and confident—everything Carly wishes she could be—and the two girls quickly form an intense friendship. So when Allison is sexually assaulted at a party, Carly becomes obsessed with making the attacker pay...and turning her fantasies about revenge into a reality.
spoiler-free review
i don't really have much to say about this! i did read this awhile ago and this was one of the books whose review got lost in The Brickening, so maybe that contributes a little. i predicted the plot twists pretty easily, and i wished it really went stronger with the "never trust men" message, and the way we had to get a paragraph justifying Gay Side Character #1 & Gay Side Character #2's age gap (i'm like 99% sure they're both 30+ so it's like.. wrdgaf) was pretty odd, but it was an enjoyable read overall. i think this would be a better read for women who haven't been radicalized yet.
full review
i don't really have much to say about this! i did read this awhile ago and this was one of the books whose review got lost in The Brickening, so maybe that contributes a little. i predicted the plot twists pretty easily, i wished it really went stronger with the "never trust men" message -- particularly by making the gay side character (literally can't remember his name because he was just.. there) also betray scarlett in some way, and the way we had to get a paragraph justifying Gay Side Character #1 & Gay Side Character #2's age gap (i'm like 99% sure they're like both 30+ so it's like.. wrdgaf) was pretty odd, but it was an enjoyable read overall. i think this would be a better read for women who haven't been radicalized yet.
this post was written by leon @poseur published on march 21, 2024 @ 10:48pm CST
#book reviews
light at the end of the tunnel?!
guess what time it is? why it's time for another life update of course, but it's actually good news for once!
first off, we got approved for the house! 🥳 ... but we got put on the waitlist. not exactly the news we were hoping for, but it's certainly better than getting rejected. secondly, i've almost saved up enough to get a new phone so i can finally stop using this old ass hand-me-down! 🥳 today was definitely the best i've had in a LOOOONG ass time, for sure.
in other news, i've been working on updating the site.. again. nothing too major this time -- i'm changing the homepage layout, and doing some tweaking to the other pages -- but me being me, i take 500 years just to complete 1 tiny section of the page. i also have, like, 3 different blog posts i'm writing up (one of those being my 2nd round of book reviews!), but again, i take a millennium trying to get anything done. life may be getting better, but i remain the same. :P
this post was written by leon @poseur published on february 22, 2024 @ 7:40pm CST
#other #life update #sorta kinda
hi diary
i'm back yet again with another life update. we are now almost through the first month of the year and my life has gotten worse. again. somehow. i know i almost exclusively write just to tell everybody how my life has gone to shit again. but anyways. long stories short: covid finally got my ass and our pipes burst AGAIN so we've been driving to relative's houses every damn day so we could take a shower and i am so sick of it. and them. i also finally filled out the fafsa a couple weeks ago and it was not fun AT ALL, but at least now i don't have to worry about anything else until the actual start of school rolls around 🙏 there is something to possibly look forward to, though: my parents found us a house that looks super nice, and not only is it in a walkable city, but it's also only 10 minutes away from the cosmo school i plan on going to; but it's apart of a gated community, so we need to get approved first. please put in some prayers for me that we do and QUICKLYYYY because i want nothing more than to move out of this rinky-dinky ass house (and the countryside in general).
this post was written by leon @poseur published on january 29, 2024 @ 7:15pm CST
#life update
2024
the fact that it's 2024 already is crazyyyy... old people really are telling the truth when they tell you that life goes by too fast
2023 was "meh": the lows were really, really low, and the high were... well there weren't really that many highs now that i think about it. still way better than 2022 though. i wanna believe that this year will also be better, even if it's just by a smidge. a LOT of things are gonna be changing this year, so that's pretty scary, and the fact that things aren't looking too hot right now isn't making me feel better. i'm just going to try, TRY to keep a semi-positive mindset that things will all work out in the end; that's my goal for the year. and i've never been one to make new year's resolutions so that's how you shit is rough.
END OF YEAR STATS
LEON'S 1ST ANNUAL NEW YEAR'S INS AND OUTS LIST
IN
romanticization of the 2010's personal websites that make your eyes bleed kink shaming going to the library pirating free stuff being a hater turning every piece of media ever into lesbian media cancel culture
OUT
""y2k""
micro-labels tumblr femme4femme the coquette & cottagecore aesthetics the word futch sanrio astrology waiting for something to come back in trend so you can do/wear/enjoy it again
SONGS FOR THE NEW YEAR
乙女のポリシー (MAIDEN'S POLICY [OTOME NO POLICY]) - YOKO ISHIA
back in august, i got bored and started looking through all the different apps on my tv and i found this free streaming service (pluto btw). i saw it had a sailor moon channel so i started watching it a bit and then the next thing i knew it ended up reigniting my hyperfixation 😕. ANYWAYS. i really love the message of this song, it helps me get off my lazy ass everyday and work. "there's nothing to be afraid of; it's better to be excited": that's my tagline for 2024 & forever.
NEWTOPIA - LOOSSEMBLE
this song is about starting anew in an unfamiliar place; this'll probably be my anthem when i finally start cosmo school. also this song was written by gowon so i have an obligation to stream so my girl can afford a little appetizer from chili's. ☝
もう一度 (ONCE AGAIN [MOU ICHIDO]) - MARIYA TAKEUCHI we share loneliness, we share happiness baaabyyy, let us try agaaaiinn~
so the lyrics are actually about fixing a failing relationship, maybe not really a song fitting for new year's exactly, but i think the lyrics reflect that we can do this if we try! attitude i'm aiming for.
this post was written by leon @poseur published on january 1, 2024 @ 11:58pm CST
#other
girl be calm
these past couple of days, i've been super paranoid -- not about someone coming to murder me or something, but about germs and illnesses and stuff -- after i went searching around my grandma's room for something to wear to the upcoming christmas dinner slash family reunion. full transparency: the woman's been dead for almost 3 years now, so that room is only home to mice now, which means... well, you know. after i went down there last night i had convinced myself that somehow, by rummaging in the closet, i had gotten lice, because that's totally how that works. i realized i forgot a shirt i grabbed so i literally just went back down again to get it and i managed to knock both my butt and phone (used for light since we cut off the electricity down there via the breaker and idk how to work that thing) into something, so i immediately went to wash my hands, wipe down my phone with alcohol wipes, and change my pants. well apparently this still wasn't enough for me, so i made myself take a bath and wash my hair too. now i keep having to tell myself girl be calm and also hold myself back from anxiously google searching all the diseases that i just caught from just being in the same room as mouse shit.
i'm starting to think that my parents might've been right when they called me a germaphobe. might've. or maybe i just have some undiagnosed mental illness but i have a job so idrgaf about that rn.
this post was written by leon @poseur published on december 22, 2023 @ 12:54am CST
#oversharing on the internet
BOOK REVIEW COMPILATION
so i've gotten back into reading (for fun that is), so i've been searching high and low for lesbian (or at least sapphic i guess) books on twitter, reddit, goodreads, and the deepest, darkest pits of zlib my favorite digital library :).
i'm also extremely picky so if you want me to read your book it has to meet my super-simple-yet-for-some-reason-super-hard-to-meet requirements:
no corny cover/title/desc (cheese = good corn = bad, this distinction is very important), aka it gives the book rack at the grocery store; no age gaps; no generally unfavorable reviews; nothing TOOOO long because what do i look like reading something with 700+ pages.
i've already gotten through a few books, and i really don't feel like making an individual post every time i finish one, so i thought that i would just compile them all into one big masterpost.
'LAST NIGHT AT THE TELEGRAPH CLUB' - MALINDA LO
4.5/5
America in 1954 is not a safe place for two girls to fall in love, especially not in Chinatown. Red-Scare paranoia threatens everyone, including Chinese Americans like Lily. With deportation looming over her father–despite his hard-won citizenship–Lily and Kath risk everything to let their love see the light of day.
no matter what platform i looked on, this book was always mentioned and the description caught my attention, so i was excited about it. i really related to lily, particularly to her journey discovering her lesbian identity, which mirrored a lot of my own experience. i loved the relationship between lily & kath and the exploration of lesbian bar culture, which i personally would like to see more of in lesbian historical fiction over yet another story set in some victorian/golden age/whatever era. one thing i also enjoyed was the author's note which listed the inspiration behind the book and all the sources that were used, i thought that was really nice and it also gave me some more books to read!
a couple things holding me back from giving 5 stars: the storyline with the (potential?) youth communist group & lily's dad was never really mentioned again except when lily and shirley had their fight, which was i thought was a little odd because it's the first major thing that happens in the book; kath is kinda flat, the only things we really know about her is that she likes planes and has an older lesbian friend named jean; i think the flashback scene of lily's parents going on a date was pretty unnecessary, i think that wasted space that could've been used later on to have a flashback scene of the moment kath mentioned was when she started having feelings for lily, or at the very least knowing what had actually happened during/after the raid?
overall i absolutely LOVED this! it very much lived up to the hype in my opinion, and i definitely wanna get myself a physical copy!
'SHE GETS THE GIRL'- ALYSON DERRICK AND RACHAEL LIPPINCOTT
2/5
Alex and Molly don’t belong on the same planet, let alone the same college campus. But when Alex, fresh off a bad (but hopefully not permanent) breakup, discovers Molly’s hidden crush as their paths cross the night before classes start, they realize they might have a common interest after all. Because maybe if Alex volunteers to help Molly learn how to get her dream girl to fall for her, she can prove to her ex that she’s not a selfish flirt. That she’s ready for an actual commitment. And while Alex is the last person Molly would ever think she could trust, she can’t deny Alex knows what she’s doing with girls, unlike her.
As the two embark on their five-step plans to get their girls to fall for them, though, they both begin to wonder if maybe they’re the ones falling…for each other.
everywhere on twitter i looked people were RAVING about this book so i said fuck it why not. the only beef i have with this book is the fact that some of the writing is just flat-out BAD. in one scene, alex is taking molly to some rugby tryouts where her crush would be, molly didn't know where she was being dragged to (alex only told her to put on comfortable clothes) so she jokingly says that she wants to skip the weight loss part of their makeover, which for some reason sets alex off and she goes on one of the funniest rants of all time:
“You know what, Molly? I know I’m fucking pretty, and yeah, I like to flirt
maybe a little too much, but I’m not the self-absorbed, shallow bimbo that
everyone thinks I am. That you seem to think I am.”
and there's also natalie, alex's girlfriend, who, at the end of the book, turns into the cookie cutter mean girl, straight from a 13 year old's wattpad fic.
Natalie interrupts me with a snort and rolls her eyes.
[...]
“Don’t go thinking you’re anything special,” she says. “It’s clear you’re just a
lost little puppy looking for attention. And Alex will give it to anyone… for a
while. That’s just Alex.”
"[...] I'm always doing something wrong in your eyes."
Natalie snorts, and a twisted smile creeps onto her face. “And what? You
think it’ll be better with someone else?”
other than that, i think this book just wasn't to my tastes. the romance scenes did nothing for me; i didn't really feel alex and molly as a couple. but i did like the side plots about the girls and their moms. that's about it.
'LOVE AND OTHER NATURAL DISASTERS' - MISA SUGIURA
3/5
When Nozomi Nagai pictured the ideal summer romance, a fake one wasn’t what she had in mind.
That was before she met the perfect girl. Willow is gorgeous, glamorous, and…heartbroken? And when she enlists Nozomi to pose as her new girlfriend to make her ex jealous, Nozomi is a willing volunteer.
Because Nozomi has a master plan of her own: one to show Willow she’s better than a stand-in, and turn their fauxmance into something real. But as the lies pile up, it’s not long before Nozomi’s schemes take a turn toward disaster…and maybe a chance at love she didn’t plan for.
this was ok. just like sgtg, i preferred the storyline of nozomi and her grandmother to the romance. but unlike sgtg, i actually thought the romance scenes were pretty cute, i just didn't root for the couple is all. the characters are suuuper trope-y and unmemorable (i literally had to go searching for their names because i forgot who was who 💀): willow's entire personality is makeup and clothes and her (ex/)gf, dela is just that trope of "jerk bad boy in a leather jacket but then you see him in an alley with an abandoned kitten and realize he's not actually that bad", arden's personality is also makeup and clothes and being rich, and nozomi is the plain jane socially awkward main character. at the end of the book, nozomi thinks that owning up to what she did (while respectable) means that dela and arden should automatically forgive her and that she's entitled to some happy fairytale ending, so then i found myself actively rooting against her. even after the whole shitshow that happened she doesn't stop to think about why what she (and willow) did was wrong, and she only really apologizes just to get with dela real quick before she went back home. guys plz reply with the tags!!! 👇👇 #deladeservesbetter #nozomi_OUT
tbh this all really boils down to the fact that i'm just not the target audience for this book, i think it's fine if you remember that it's just something cute for the kids. i rounded up my original 2.5 to a 3 for baby gay me, because the fake dating + the "looks tough but is actually a softie" trope butch love interest was quite literally the book of teenage leon poseur.neocities.org's DREAMS.
'RUBYFRUIT JUNGLE' - RITA MAE BROWN
0/5
Rubyfruit Jungle is about growing up a lesbian in America. Molly Bolt is adopted by a poor Southern couple, Carrie and Carl, who want a better life for their daughter than they've had. Molly does too, but she has different ideas about how that will unfold.
aw man, where do i even start with this?
listen, i know "something something different times" but i knew that this probably wasn't going to be ~politically correct~ -- and if that had bothered me then i wouldn't have gone reading it in the first place -- but this was just... odd, in every way. this is gonna be a long one, buckle up.
first of all, the amount of incest is just utterly ridiculous; it was not just once or twice but THREE different instances of incest. as if the multiple scenes of cousincest weren't enough, we then have to read about a 16 year old girl telling molly that she believes that her own mother (we'll get to her later) finds her attractive and then expresses a desire to have sex with her. molly tells her not to do it, but only because her mother has a weird kink. she also feels the need to clarify that she thinks incest is totally cool (trust me, we can tell) as long as you're over the age of 15 and "consent", and says that parents and children not viewing each other sexually is "antihuman".
"Yeah, parents get freaked out about everything. Mom must have a heavy
case of repression going, because she’ll never deal with the fact that she
digs my body.”
second is all the plain lesbophobia. when molly arrives in new york, she meets a gay man, calvin, who takes her to a lesbian bar in hopes that she'll meet a woman who would be willing to let her crash on her couch. the very first person she meets is a butch named mighty mo, who molly calls a moron (after mo simply saying "you must be new around here") and says that she would beat up if she were not smaller than mo. when mo leaves, she then goes a classic rant about butches being wannabe males:
“That’s the craziest, dumbass thing I ever heard tell of. What’s the point
of being a lesbian if a woman is going to look and act like an imitation
man? Hell, if I want a man, I’ll get the real thing not one of these chippies. I
mean, Calvin, the whole point of being gay is because you love women.
You don’t like men that look like women, do you?”
unsuccessful in her quest, she leaves the bar and says this gem, when calvin asks if she'll be staying out:
"[...] Don’t worry about me.
It’s too cold for rapists to be roaming the streets. Anyway at least they
won’t ask me if I am butch or femme.”
BUT WAIT! that's not all! what would the lesbian book to end all lesbian books be without everyone's favorite lesbophobic trope: the lesbian who tries to turn straight women?! molly meets an older woman named polina who she immediately becomes obsessed with. long story short, molly ends up forcing herself onto polina, saying that she secretly wants it. they continue to sleep together for a while until a fight breaks out between polina and her daughter (mentioned earlier), alice, after alice tells polina that she's also been sleeping with molly.
lastly, even if we ignore all the problematic elements -- even the ones i didn't bother going into detail about, like the use of every single racial slur ever created, and the fact that molly repeatedly has sex with men throughout the book for no reason -- the book is simply not well written. molly is super popular, super smart while everyone else is a fucking idiot, and the most irresistible woman on earth since (almost literally) everybody she meets wants to sleep with her. despite showing her life from age 11 to her mid 20's, she literally does not change at all; absolutely no lessons are learned.
honestly i really did enjoy the first few chapters of this book but it just went downhill so, so quickly. truly a few hours of my life that i will never get back.
this post was written by leon @poseur published on december 15, 2023 @ 10:37pm CST
#book reviews
life update (2)
welp, we did it joe. you're looking at reading a blog post from a future cosmetology student 🎉 i already toured the only 2 schools that aren't 30+ miles out, so now the only thing i have to "worry" about is trying to adjust my sleep schedule in advance since school starts at 8am (and i normally don't get up any earlier than 10am).
in way less important, more chronically online news: my application to open a loossemble fanlisting got approved, so i was working on that the past couple of weeks. i finally figured out how to make my own forms without having to use php or some free website that limits the amount of responses you can get which i am very proud of, please clap.
...and uh, that's about it! i only wrote this to give a quick update on the whole "will i won't i" thing i was having for a while. until next time~
this post was written by leon @poseur published on december 3, 2023 @ 2:55pm CST
#life update
life update
hi diary it's me again. so october was.. i don't even remember actually because it so uneventful and went by so damn fast, but all that mundanity was actually just building up to a super shitty very last day of the month, so that balanced out i guess. i had stayed up til like 3am scrolling twitter because i just could not fall asleep for some reason, and when i woke up to pee literally not even 2 hours later i did what i usually do which is check my phone immediately because i am an addict. pressed the button and it didn't turn on. sure, it's done that before, no biggie. pressed again, nothing. ....ok. pressed for the 3rd time, and it felt like it was basically it telling me to go kill myself. anyways long story short it's (soft)bricked now, which out of the ~7 phones i've had in my life this is the 1st time i've ever had that happen. not really too surprised as i noticed the battery's gotten worse the past couple of months but it's still a punch in the gut. THANKFULLY last year when it seemed like everybody around me was breaking their phone (and my life was just complete and utter dogshit in general so i was absolutely not taking any chances) i screenshotted the note i made listing all my passwords and uploaded it to the ol' google drive so i was able to get my all my shit back at least; though i still wasn't smart enough to make like a whatsapp or a google voice so i have to communicate via email like it's fucking 1997 (how fake y2k enjoyers look when i tell them they have to email me:), and i literally have no idea when i'll be able to get a new phone because my biggest concern right now is not living on the street. i think my biggest fear at the moment is meeting my soulmate and we hit it off and then when she asks for my phone number i have to say "sorry but i don't have a phone" and she thinks i'm lying (because who doesn't have a phone in the big year of 2023) because i don't like her and i never see her again and then i die alone.
also now that it's november that means december (aka fafsa month) is coming up quick, and i should be touring cosmo schools this month but i'm nervous as fuckkkkk so i keep putting it off. i've been counting down the days til i can go but now that it's actually becoming a reality i'm like "hmm actually maybe i don't wanna do this!". will i man up and do this or will i let it be another opportunity that i let pass me by and end up hating myself over? find out next entry
this post was written by leon @poseur published on november 10, 2023 @ 2:55am CST
#oversharing on the internet
a look back on september
september i think was overall a pretty good month. at least i think so. maybe it just looks that way in comparison since it seemed like literally every single day since my 21st another plane had hit the leon poseur.neocities.org towers. actually now i'm thinking back on it the only real bad thing that happened was just me stressing myself out over dumb shit so actually september was a great month then. october will be the real test though to see if the absolutely dogshit luck i've had since last year actually was just "age 21 is the worst year of your life" being a canon event or is the work of a curse or something. we'll see.
this post was written by leon @poseur published on october 1, 2023 @ 10:35pm CST
#personal
BOTTOMS
so the other day i F I N A L L Y got to watch bottoms. i waited ~2 weeks after its release so i could go see it on my birthday instead just to find that the only theater near me that was actually playing it was over 2 hours away and that nobody loves me enough to drive me out that far. my laptop broke in july and my ipad about a week ago; i did NOT wanna watch it on my phone so i just begged my mom let me use her laptop instead.
ANYWAYS the movie was so damn good. i don't really have anything negative to say about it, at least not anything worth noting. but then again i'm not some pretentious twat who makes being a ~cinephile~ my entire personality, so for me it's: my enjoyment > everything else, and i enjoyed every second of this movie. it's just a very silly, trashy movie that also has some cute & romantic moments for us chick flick girlies, and includes some cool easter eggs and a lot of insane shit going on in the background that'll add to every rewatch. i'm hoping that going forward, we get to see some more absurd lesbian romcoms such as bottoms and classics like d.e.b.s, and but i'm a cheerleader (both of which inspired bottoms, which you can very much tell); aka movies that are tailor-made for me, specifically.
all in all, the movie was very much worth the wait for me, and i'm going to think about it every second of the every day for at least the next 2 months; and i think you should give it a shot, too.
this post was written by leon @poseur published on september 25, 2023 @ 2:55pm CST
4.5/5
romanticization of the 2010's 
