BOOK REVIEW COMPILATION VOL 2

the 2nd installment of my book review compilation is finally here 🫠 this would've come wayyyyy sooner but 1) the couple of reviews i'd already written up were lost when my phone got bricked and that really pissed me off so i kept putting off rewriting them 2) i was too busy with life stuff to actually write or even read anything anyways and 3) i was trying to put off reading for a little while until we moved since we'd be way closer to the library and i could actually start going there but that's probably not happening for another couple months soooo.
anyways! i'm also trying out a new, cleaner format this time around so they're a little bit easier to read, and with less spoilers (and hopefully less typos too 🫣).

EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM WILL SOMEDAY BE DEAD ー EMILY AUSTIN
4.5/5
synopsis
Gilda, a twenty-something, atheist, animal-loving lesbian, cannot stop ruminating about death. Desperate for relief from her panicky mind and alienated from her repressive family, she responds to a flyer for free therapy at a local Catholic church, and finds herself being greeted by Father Jeff, who assumes she’s there for a job interview. Too embarrassed to correct him, Gilda is abruptly hired to replace the recently deceased receptionist Grace.
In between trying to memorize the lines to Catholic mass, hiding the fact that she has a new girlfriend, and erecting a dirty dish tower in her crumbling apartment, Gilda strikes up an email correspondence with Grace’s old friend. She can’t bear to ignore the kindly old woman who has been trying to reach her friend through the church inbox, but she also can’t bring herself to break the bad news. Desperate, she begins impersonating Grace via email. But when the police discover suspicious circumstances surrounding Grace’s death, Gilda may have to finally reveal the truth of her mortifying existence.
spoiler-free review so, i actually almost didn't pick up this book because the synopsis didn't really capture my attention, and then i almost didn't even bother reading it at all but one day i got super bored and said "eh, it's not that long so let's just get through it" and i ended up LOVING it. this book was so hard for me to put down; i really liked the writing style which made it very easy for me to get into, glinda (mc) was super relatable, and the humor was right up my alley.
my one criticism would be that i wished we had gotten closure on a couple of things, but but this is mostly a nitpick because i actually did like the kind of open ending anyways and the last line of the book made me smile. really just an overall great book, and just like with last night at the telegraph club, this instantly became one of my favorites and made me immediately go to add the author's other books to my tbr.
full review so, i actually almost didn't pick up this book because the synopsis didn't really capture my attention, and then i almost didn't even bother reading it at all but one day i got super bored and said "eh, it's not that long so let's just get through it" and i ended up LOVING it. this book was so hard for me to put down, i really liked the writing style made it very easy for me to get into; glinda (mc) was very relatable to me -- from her struggle with anxiety and depression to the way she reacted in certain situations (when she was sneaking around the priest's room/office and the whole mess she got herself into by pretending to be straight) -- was almost like reading about myself in a way; and the humor was right up my alley.
my one criticism would be that i wished we had gotten closure on glinda's family situation (particularly her brother) and the church, but this is mostly a nitpick because i actually did like the kind of open ending anyways and the last line of the book made me smile. really just an overall great book, and just like with last night at the telegraph club, this instantly became one of my favorites and made me immediately go to add the author's other books to my tbr.

THIS IS HOW YOU LOSE THE TIME WAR ー AMAL EL-MOHTAR AND MAX GLADSTONE
2.5/5
synopsis
Among the ashes of a dying world, an agent of the Commandant finds a letter. It reads:Burn before reading. Thus begins an unlikely correspondence between two rival agents hellbent on securing the best possible future for their warring factions. Now, what began as a taunt, a battlefield boast, grows into something more. Something epic. Something romantic. Something that could change the past and the future.
Except the discovery of their bond would mean death for each of them. There's still a war going on, after all. And someone has to win that war.
spoiler-free review this was just so confusing and left me with so many questions; literally nothing is explained. this is only a novella but it took me forever (about 3 weeks) to read because it felt like a chore to pick it up again, not only because of non-existent worldbuilding, but also because the writing style which is very... how should i put it? "me trying to hit the word count on my essay". the letters, which should've helped with characterization, did not help at all; i was very confused by the constant changes in tone of the letters and the way the writing of them would seem like they were trying to mirror each other, like when you're talking to someone you don't know on the internet and notice they're writing a certain way so you try to kind of mimick them as to not accidentally overstep boundaries. the story starts to pick up and finally gets interesting on the very last part of it and we actually get some description of the settings that isn't just "it's london but grayish", "snowy place but actually the snow is blue".
tbh i can't even really tell if i actually properly read this, because while looking at other reviews i noticed some marked trigger warnings and i was like "huh? when did these happen?", so maybe it all just went through one ear and out the other (for lack of a better metaphor).
full review this was just so confusing and left me with so many questions. how the hell do they even "climb" (or "swim"?? pick one.) the threads? why the fuck is this war even happening in the first place? literally nothing is explained. this is only a novella but it took me forever (about 3 weeks) to read because it felt like a chore to pick it up again, not only because of non-existent worldbuilding, but also because the writing style which is very... how should i put it? "me trying to reach the word count on my essay". the letters, which should've helped with characterization, did not help at all; i was very confused by the constant changes in tone of the letters because some would be like "sis you're over" and the next one would be "your resistance is futile - as my side shall rise victorious" and then some would even have some combination like "unlike you, i am sagacious enough to keep eye on such matters, dawg", and the letters would always mirror the last one, so if one letter was written more informal and slang-filled (i noticed particularly that red[? or maybe blue, literally doesn't matter because they're the same] would say "fuck", and then the reply would also have the word fuck in it), the reply would be too, so on and so forth. the story starts to pick up and finally gets interesting on the very last part of it and we actually get some description of the settings that isn't just "it's london but grayish", "snowy place but actually the snow is blue".
tbh i can't even really tell if i actually properly read this, because while looking at other reviews i noticed rape and pedophilia were marked trigger warnings and i was like "huh? when did that happen?", so maybe it all just went through one ear and out the other (for lack of a better metaphor).

ONE LAST STOP ー CASEY MCQUISTON
1/5
synopsis
For cynical twenty-three-year-old August, moving to New York City is supposed to prove her right: that things like magic and cinematic love stories don’t exist, and the only smart way to go through life is alone. She can’t imagine how waiting tables at a 24-hour pancake diner and moving in with too many weird roommates could possibly change that. And there’s certainly no chance of her subway commute being anything more than a daily trudge through boredom and electrical failures.
But then, there’s this gorgeous girl on the train.
Jane. Dazzling, charming, mysterious, impossible Jane. Jane with her rough edges and swoopy hair and soft smile, showing up in a leather jacket to save August’s day when she needed it most. August’s subway crush becomes the best part of her day, but pretty soon, she discovers there’s one big problem: Jane doesn’t just look like an old school punk rocker. She’s literally displaced in time from the 1970s, and August is going to have to use everything she tried to leave in her own past to help her. Maybe it’s time to start believing in some things, after all.
spoiler-free review short answer: this book would've been wayyyy more interesting if it was just about jane; i really don't think that the whole time travel thing was needed at all.
long answer: my first gripe here is the weird comments made about jane by august: there's lots of throwaway lines that are taken straight from one of those sapphics (read: non lesbians, mostly) that you can tell have never flirted with a real life woman and say "omg step on me mommy" 100% unironically but is trying to dodge the fetishization accusations by saying shit like "you're like a MELODIUS GODDESS sent from HEAVEN, ugh just like SUPERNATURALLY ANGELIC" like please, just be normal; this is amplified by the fact that jane is butch and nobody can compliment butches in a sane manner for some reason. i was not feeling the chemistry between august and jane at all, even less so than other books i've given this criticism too! there is also -- trying to be as spoiler free as possible here -- an abuse subplot that i felt was handled in a poor way.
all the side characters simply exist to serve our boring ass mc and worship the ground she walks on, which especially weirds me out seeing as all except a couple are non-white, and the pacing is really just all over the place; it's pretty slow overall so the author tries to play catch-up by speeding certain parts along and even just time-skipping weeks or even months and you're just like huh?
this book was pretty much just friends with a dash of sci-fi for liberal millennial queers, all of which i am not.
full review short answer: this book would've been wayyyy more interesting if it was just about jane; i really don't think that the whole time travel thing was needed at all.
long answer: my first gripe here is the weird comments made about jane by august: there's lots of throwaway lines that are taken straight from one of those sapphics (read: non lesbians, mostly) that you can tell have never flirted with a real life woman and say "omg step on me mommy" 100% unironically but is trying to dodge the fetishization accusations by saying shit like "you're like a MELODIUS GODDESS sent from HEAVEN, ugh just like SUPERNATURALLY ANGELIC" like please, just be normal; this is amplified by the fact that jane is butch and nobody can compliment butches in a sane manner for some reason. there's also the scene in which jane becomes the victim of a racial and lesbophobic hate crime, to which august, a white bisexual, is just like "...ok but people aren't like that anymore"; jane ends up apologizing first. i also just found there to be no chemistry between august and jane at all, jane had all these women from all over the country and i'm supposed to believe that fuckass august is the best one of all? and the public sex, really? what happened to CLASS?
in the august family subplot, august is initially angry about her mother preventing her from ever meeting her grandparents and mourns the relationship she could've had with them, and then is like oh, my grandparents were homophobic so actually, i didn't wanna meet them anyways! be so serious; i wanna draw comparison to another book, rubyfruit jungle -- which i fucking hated in damn near every way -- except the way the abuse by molly's (adoptive) mother is addressed: it acknowledges the fact that the abuse in question is horrible and it makes her mother a piece of shit that's unworthy of redemption - but it also acknowledges that her mother is the only one she's ever known, so of course she still loves her. i feel like not many really explore this? maybe i just don't get around much. and i'm also not saying that every piece of media should show it this way, i just find the way one last stop goes about it in a way that -- as twitter loves to say -- lacks nuance.
all the side characters simply exist to serve our boring ass mc -- omg the love interest is a ghost! good news: we have a psychic, we need a radio! good news: we have someone who works on clocks, we're putting on a drag show! well guess what: we have those too! -- and worship the ground she walks on, which especially weirds me out seeing as all except a couple are non-white. the pacing is just all over the place; it's pretty slow overall so the author tries to play catch-up by speeding certain parts along and even just time-skipping weeks or even months and you're just like huh?
this book was pretty much just friends with a dash of scif-fi for liberal millennial queers, all of which i am not.

PATRICIA WANTS TO CUDDLE ー SAMANTHA ALLEN
4/5
synopsis
When the final four women in competition for an aloof, if somewhat sleazy, bachelor's heart arrive on a mysterious island in the Pacific Northwest, they mentally prepare themselves for another week of extreme sleep deprivation, invasive interviews, and of course, the salacious drama that viewers nationwide tune in to eagerly devour. Each woman came on 'The Catch' for her own reasons—brand sponsorships, followers, and yes, even love—and they've all got their eyes steadfastly trained on their respective prizes.
Enter Patricia, a temperamental, but woefully misunderstood local, living alone in the dark, verdant woods and desperate to forge a connection of her own. As the contestants perform for the cameras that surround them, Patricia watches from her place in the shadows, a queer specter haunting the bombastic display of heterosexuality before her. But when the cast and crew at last make her acquaintance atop the island's tallest and most desolate peak, they soon realize that if they're to have any hope of making it to the next Elimination Event, they'll first have to survive the night.
spoiler-free review ummm i think i stumbled upon this on zlib? or maybe it was storygraph? whatever. it's not what i was expecting it to be, but in a good way -- i'm not usually a horror fan, but really had fun with this! the book is pretty slow paced, as we don't really get into the action until the last chunk of it; i liked reading the parts focused around the show, but i could understand how it might not be for everybody. none of the characters really get much depth but i don't think i really minded in this case? i personally was still invested in them and their relationships with each other regardless. but i will say that i wish our main girl had gotten a little more, there was really good potential but the author just never really bothered actually going there, and i also wanted to learn some more about the mysterious happenings on the island, so i think the book could've benefitted from beingjust a little bit longer. just a smidgen. overall this is just a really fun read, if you like trashy reality shows and/or slasher films i think you would like this! and even if you don't i say give it a shot anyways!
full review ummm i think i stumbled upon this on zlib? or maybe it was storygraph? whatever. it's not what i was expecting it to be, but in a good way -- i'm not usually a horror fan, but i really had fun with this! the book is pretty slow paced, as we don't really get into the action until the last chunk of it; i liked reading the parts focused around the show, but i could understand how it might not be for everybody. none of the characters aside from casey really get much depth, but i don't think i really minded in this case? i personally was still invested in them and their relationships with each other regardless (lilah mae and vanessa were endgame in my heart #idk). but i will say that i wish renee had gotten a little more, there was really good potential but the author just never really bothered actually going there, and i also wanted to learn some more about the lesbian death cult!! so i think the book could've benefitted from beingjust a little bit longer. just a smidgen. overall this is just a really fun read, if you like trashy reality shows and/or slasher films i think you would like this! and even if you don't i say give it a shot anyways!

THEY NEVER LEARN ー LAYNE FARGO
3/5
synopsis
Scarlett Clark is an exceptional English professor. But she’s even better at getting away with murder.
Every year, she searches for the worst man at Gorman University and plots his well-deserved demise. Thanks to her meticulous planning, she’s avoided drawing attention to herself—but as she’s preparing for her biggest kill yet, the school starts probing into the growing body count on campus. Determined to keep her enemies close, Scarlett insinuates herself into the investigation and charms the woman in charge, Dr. Mina Pierce. Everything’s going according to her master plan…until she loses control with her latest victim, putting her secret life at risk of exposure.
Meanwhile, Gorman student Carly Schiller is just trying to survive her freshman year. Finally free of her emotionally abusive father, all Carly wants is to focus on her studies and fade into the background. Her new roommate has other ideas. Allison Hadley is cool and confident—everything Carly wishes she could be—and the two girls quickly form an intense friendship. So when Allison is sexually assaulted at a party, Carly becomes obsessed with making the attacker pay...and turning her fantasies about revenge into a reality.
spoiler-free review i don't really have much to say about this! i did read this awhile ago and this was one of the books whose review got wiped in The Brickening, so maybe that contributes.
i predicted the plot twists pretty easily, and i wished it really went stronger with the "never trust men" message, and the way we had to get a paragraph justifying Gay Side Character #1 & Gay Side Character #2's age gap (i'm like 99% sure they're both 30+ so it's like.. wrdgaf) was pretty odd, but it was an enjoyable read overall. i think this would be a better read for women who haven't been radicalized yet.
full review i don't really have much to say about this! i did read this awhile ago and this was one of the books whose review got wiped in The Brickening, so maybe that contributes.
i predicted the plot twists pretty easily, i wished it really went stronger with the "never trust men" message -- particularly by making the gay side character (literally can't remember his name because he was just.. there) also betray scarlett in some way, and the way we had to get a paragraph justifying Gay Side Character #1 & Gay Side Character #2's age gap (i'm like 99% sure they're like both 30+ so it's like.. wrdgaf) was pretty odd, but it was an enjoyable read overall. i think this would be a better read for women who haven't been radicalized yet.

this post was written by leon @poseur
published on march 21, 2024 @ 10:31pm CST
#book reviews